just read about a girl going missing.

that kind of freaks me out

whos taken her

where is she

shes probally dead

when i was younger i used to be scared about someone taking me.

i could never go anywhere on my own.

was that fear or just the reality of the world we live in.

has it really come to that kids cannot play out doors on their own for the fear of abduction abuse and may i dare say....murder.

do you think this world is safe.

i dont.

im 19. i have a steady bf and i still cant walk the streets alone for the fear that something may happen to me.

i fear for my friends

i fear for my family.

do you fear?

or am i just been silly.?

just general.

grrr i cant talk about the heavy stuff.

thats for another day.

i need something juicy to get into.

i start work on the 11th. its only a part time job. BUT it gets me out of the house.

i can finally get that car i want.

freedom.

well a little bit at a time.

the attack.

i was raped about 3 years ago now.

i havent really told alot of people.

im embarrassed about it.

it was my fault? well thats how i feel sometimes.

i wish i had died at that moment.

im glad im still alive. iv never really said that to myself before.

i have taken a step.

today

i get wound up very easily and like to talk alot.

todays been okay.

iv spent pretty much the last year in the house.

to be brutually honest i guess you could say iv been to scared to go out.

i used to be so upbeat, liveely and really close to my friends but the attack i have just lost all my self confidence.

i have put on loads of weight cos i was on anti-depressants.

tbh i just hate myself.

The catch up

I grew up with my mum and dad and brother.

we moved andthey got divorced.

i now live with my mum, stepdad and brother.

my dad did get remarried but then divorced again and fucked off. i have a lot of resentment about that.

iv been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and were engaged.

The introduction

My name is kels. im 19. im not going to give out anymore details than that as people will probally try to clone me.

i live in england and not to feel sorry formyself but i have had quite a few rough years.

and well some rather embarrassing ones to.

which im going to share.

whether you are interested or not is another matter entirely.

talk soon.